I finally experienced something this weekend that I knew was eventually inevitable, but I didn't want it to happen none the less. I had my grandpa's funeral. The first funeral I've had to attend of a family member.
But here's the deal.
We really weren't that close. not at all in fact. All my memories of grandpa consist of him sitting in his chair at home, while grandma took care of him. And then when I was in junior high, he got placed in a nursing home because grandma had gotten in a car wreck and so she was laid up for a few weeks and so she couldn't take care of him and he just stayed there and slowly went downhill. So, really I don't have any storybook/movie quality memories of my grandfather. NOT that they didn't happen, I've found plenty of photos that attest that they did. BUt they just happened too early for me to distinctly remember. So, while it is rather unfortunate that I can't look back and smile on good memories with grandpa. The honest and maybe somewhat morbid truth , is that it has made this process a whole lot easier.
We all knew it was coming though. The last month we had seen him in and out of the hospital and everytime it was the same thing. "well, he could go tonight. He could go next month" so we knew it was edging closer and when we got the call Wednesday morning, it was one of those "yea, he's in a better place now."
Through this whole process I really felt kind of bad actually. There were no tears, there was no empty sense of loss. It was simply a factual thing. Grandpa had died. And as the hugs and "I'm so sorry's" and the questions of "How are you doing?" began, I felt bad ,because I was A-OK fine.
It continued even at the visitation, my cousins, and older of my two younger sisters were all along the same line with it. We sat and conversed and joked about things like normal. And shared how we were all sad that Francis had passed, but didn't have any major emotional memories to really upset us.
But eventually the tears did come and I knew they would, at the funeral. I knew that when I saw my grandma crying or my dad tear up, I knew I would. And it happened. But it wasn't til the end of the funeral. When they had fufilled my grandpa's request he had made early on in life to have "bridge over troubled water" played at his funeral. That's when I cried. And when we were at the gravesite and the American Legion handed my grandma the flag and they thanked her for his years of serive in the korean conflict. And when I saw the tears fall down the face of my dad. My big tough, farming, jock, of a man who was your typical dude's dude who didn't show emotion or cry. And when I saw my two baby sisters crying. That's when I cried and I felt better. Knowing that I wasn't completely devoid of human emotion. But I also think what got me going was knowing that at some point, hopefully a long long way down the road, but at some point. I would be burying grandma or my dad and that's what really hit me. Because I know when that time comes, I will most definitally be one hott mess.
So, while this weekend had an overcast of gloom. It was actually a nice weekend. I got to all my Riebhoff family and 90% of it was spent laughing and joking. Which is good, because even though I don't have that many memories, I know that's they my grandpa would have wanted it.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
So I'm cheating a little...
I'm slightly cheating with this "blog". This is an older article I wrote for the school paper awhile back. But some recent events made me think of it and so I thought I would share.
As an active member on Simpson's campus, I tend to notice what's going on. Each new year, I notice the changes that occur with the entering of a new class and the leaving of an old and the one thing that seems to stay the same.
There is an epidemic that somehow continues to plague our campus and effect the students.
Students with this plague seem to suffer from the following symptoms: the willingness to complain about the actions of student organizations without offering any advice as to what said student organizations could do instead; and a problem with the lack of school spirit, while their attendance at school events is minimal at best. Most victims have the ability to make students who are actually trying to change things, sometimes wonder why we even try.
An example that comes to mind is a recent purchase by the student government association. Members of SGA felt that the purchase of name tags would help us market ourselves better as an organization to not only the campus, and also come in useful when representing Simpson at other events. The cost for the name tags was right around $200, and some students were upset and complained that spending $200 on name tags was a horrible idea. However, the students offered no suggestion as to how we could better allocate the money.
My theory when it comes to complaining or talking about how something isn't working is that you should at least have a suggestion to take its place. Don't complain if you aren't willing to work to make a change.
Most students fail to realize that we are rather fortunate at Simpson. We have faculty, staff and administrators willing to listen to us. They are working hard to make Simpson a good experience for us and yet everyone still sits back and doesn't care. Then something happens and everyone gets upset and causes a fuss about it, but they don't care enough to actually try and do something about it.
Another big thing you hear everyone on campus talk about is the lack of school spirit Simpson College possesses and it slightly confuses me. I hear all these students complaining that no one goes to the game, no one has school spirit and no one cares. People talk about how more students need to go to this and that, but don't go themselves.
So here's my solution.Instead of skipping the game, saying you're not going because you know no one else is, shut up. Actually go to the game, and then your friend will go because she knows you're going, and then she brings another friend. The next thing you know, people actually are at the game. All because someone decided to try and remedy a problem instead of just complaining about it.
Now, while I am still quite a few years away from my PhD and have further research and testing to do before I can give an official diagnosis for this disease, I'm pretty sure I can offer some advice that could help prevent the spread and I'm taking it from Ghandi.
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
If you want things to change at Simpson, work to change them. If you want people to attend the games, go to the game yourself. If you don't want SGA spending $200 on name tags, tell them what they should spend $200 on.And if you don't care. If you don't feel like working and trying to make a change, then don't complain.
As an active member on Simpson's campus, I tend to notice what's going on. Each new year, I notice the changes that occur with the entering of a new class and the leaving of an old and the one thing that seems to stay the same.
There is an epidemic that somehow continues to plague our campus and effect the students.
Students with this plague seem to suffer from the following symptoms: the willingness to complain about the actions of student organizations without offering any advice as to what said student organizations could do instead; and a problem with the lack of school spirit, while their attendance at school events is minimal at best. Most victims have the ability to make students who are actually trying to change things, sometimes wonder why we even try.
An example that comes to mind is a recent purchase by the student government association. Members of SGA felt that the purchase of name tags would help us market ourselves better as an organization to not only the campus, and also come in useful when representing Simpson at other events. The cost for the name tags was right around $200, and some students were upset and complained that spending $200 on name tags was a horrible idea. However, the students offered no suggestion as to how we could better allocate the money.
My theory when it comes to complaining or talking about how something isn't working is that you should at least have a suggestion to take its place. Don't complain if you aren't willing to work to make a change.
Most students fail to realize that we are rather fortunate at Simpson. We have faculty, staff and administrators willing to listen to us. They are working hard to make Simpson a good experience for us and yet everyone still sits back and doesn't care. Then something happens and everyone gets upset and causes a fuss about it, but they don't care enough to actually try and do something about it.
Another big thing you hear everyone on campus talk about is the lack of school spirit Simpson College possesses and it slightly confuses me. I hear all these students complaining that no one goes to the game, no one has school spirit and no one cares. People talk about how more students need to go to this and that, but don't go themselves.
So here's my solution.Instead of skipping the game, saying you're not going because you know no one else is, shut up. Actually go to the game, and then your friend will go because she knows you're going, and then she brings another friend. The next thing you know, people actually are at the game. All because someone decided to try and remedy a problem instead of just complaining about it.
Now, while I am still quite a few years away from my PhD and have further research and testing to do before I can give an official diagnosis for this disease, I'm pretty sure I can offer some advice that could help prevent the spread and I'm taking it from Ghandi.
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
If you want things to change at Simpson, work to change them. If you want people to attend the games, go to the game yourself. If you don't want SGA spending $200 on name tags, tell them what they should spend $200 on.And if you don't care. If you don't feel like working and trying to make a change, then don't complain.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
When I Grow Up
In roughly a week and a half I will essentially be a college senior. It's hard to believe that I'm nearing the completion of my junior year of college! Even before I started Simpson I heard that college flys by and while I believed them, its still hard to grasp how fast it does until it actually happens. And I'm not even close to being ready to grow up and my term class is not making things any easier.
I've started to think a bit more about what I want to do after graduation and grad school has started to sound like a good idea. My NACA experience has been awesome and so I began to think about going for student development and maybe becoming a Rich Ramos. BUT the thing is, I don't really think I want to do that as a career. But I think the student development experience would be benificial in the long run.
I've also thought about traveling after graduation. Yesterday, in our may term class we met with a former student of Kedron's and she worked and lived in London for 6 months after graduation and so that would be really cool. Only I would probably do something like Austrailia or New Zealand, since I have done the London thing already. AND I've also thought about just trying to find a job. But I have no freakin clue what. I would love to do something in event planning relatedness but I have no clue where to look. Plus I'm starting to wonder if I am even capable of holding a real job and being responsible and that scares me.
Ugh. This May Term class has really thrown things off. Just because some of the advice we've gotten from meeting with these professionals has been really helpful and what Emily has done sounded really fun and I would love to do something like that. BUt then hearing some the leaders talk makes me wonder if I really am a decent leader or just one of those power hungry people who just likes being a leader. And I don't want to be one of those people. Then there's the talks about our generation and what we expect out of life and how more than likely we won't get all that we want and then there's the whole economy thing and ugh.
Anyway. Back to the grad school thing. It's weird having to look at grad schools. I feel like I'm back in HS only its harder, because I'm not sure what I want to study. I could do student development. Maybe journalism or it'd be awesome to find some sort of event/entertainment management program. And then there is the whole GRE thing. I haven't taken a math class since my junior year of HS.
But ugh. It's crazy and getting scary. Even though I know I have a year left, right now I really have no clue what to do. And then just thinking about being a real grown up in general is scary and I think thats partly why I would like to go back to grad school.
Then there's this summer. Thanks to my suck-tackular driving luck my car sucks and so my original plans for interning in Minneapolis are now cancelled. So I'm hoping I can get a job at TEC w/ Sarah as a counselor. It'd be fun to be a counselor again and not have to worry about as much.
Other than stressing out about the rest of my life, May Term is good and fun! It's hard to believe the year is almost over ;( I have alot of packing to do :S
PS-sorry this turned into a rant of a blog. I didn't think it would....oops :S
I've started to think a bit more about what I want to do after graduation and grad school has started to sound like a good idea. My NACA experience has been awesome and so I began to think about going for student development and maybe becoming a Rich Ramos. BUT the thing is, I don't really think I want to do that as a career. But I think the student development experience would be benificial in the long run.
I've also thought about traveling after graduation. Yesterday, in our may term class we met with a former student of Kedron's and she worked and lived in London for 6 months after graduation and so that would be really cool. Only I would probably do something like Austrailia or New Zealand, since I have done the London thing already. AND I've also thought about just trying to find a job. But I have no freakin clue what. I would love to do something in event planning relatedness but I have no clue where to look. Plus I'm starting to wonder if I am even capable of holding a real job and being responsible and that scares me.
Ugh. This May Term class has really thrown things off. Just because some of the advice we've gotten from meeting with these professionals has been really helpful and what Emily has done sounded really fun and I would love to do something like that. BUt then hearing some the leaders talk makes me wonder if I really am a decent leader or just one of those power hungry people who just likes being a leader. And I don't want to be one of those people. Then there's the talks about our generation and what we expect out of life and how more than likely we won't get all that we want and then there's the whole economy thing and ugh.
Anyway. Back to the grad school thing. It's weird having to look at grad schools. I feel like I'm back in HS only its harder, because I'm not sure what I want to study. I could do student development. Maybe journalism or it'd be awesome to find some sort of event/entertainment management program. And then there is the whole GRE thing. I haven't taken a math class since my junior year of HS.
But ugh. It's crazy and getting scary. Even though I know I have a year left, right now I really have no clue what to do. And then just thinking about being a real grown up in general is scary and I think thats partly why I would like to go back to grad school.
Then there's this summer. Thanks to my suck-tackular driving luck my car sucks and so my original plans for interning in Minneapolis are now cancelled. So I'm hoping I can get a job at TEC w/ Sarah as a counselor. It'd be fun to be a counselor again and not have to worry about as much.
Other than stressing out about the rest of my life, May Term is good and fun! It's hard to believe the year is almost over ;( I have alot of packing to do :S
PS-sorry this turned into a rant of a blog. I didn't think it would....oops :S
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Last night I lost my V-Card
So, as per usual. I drifted away from blogging and it has been a good 3 months since my last post.
And I really don't want to try and re think and fill you in on all the great happenings of the past 3 months; the stupid class projects for stagecraft, the job I thought I loved and now left, the car getting wrecked another 2 times and etc. So I'll just begin with some recent events.
As the title of the blog foreshadows, I lost my v-card last night. And no, I don't mean the romantic type v-card. Psh, I lost that awhile ago. I lost my concert v-card. Yep, true story. Up until last night i had never been to a legitimate concert. While I've enjoyed most of the music I've heard at NACA and our CAB events, I really don't consider them to be real life concerts. It was a fun time. About 8 of us took a drive out to Omaha to see a group called "Jukebox the ghost". They first saw them when they opened for Ben Fold when he was in Des Moines back in March. They're a fun energetic alternative band and have some pretty interesting songs. So, I'm glad I was able to give my v-card to such a deserving band.
In other news
It's currently May Term and I am ABSOLUTLY loving it! It's been an amazing great time. The weather could be a bit more cooperative and someone needs to twitter mother nature and let her know that she needs to make it nice. But today is a gorgeous day and so I'm happy. We played some mud volleyball earlier and it was great, sloshing around in a big pile of dirt and water.
And there's actually no new boy drama or news. I've been pretty tame and have been doing my best to avoid that whole scene and it is working out for me!
ANNNND you're pry wondering how I did with those new years resolutions I talked about in my last post.
HAHA, well obvi I have failed at blogging regularly. But I've actually done a somewhat decent job on the J&S gossip front. I bitch and gossip about them on ocassion, when good shit comes up. BUT for the most part I've taken the "eh you bore me" approach. AND I have definitally failed at the working out thing and am beginning to accept that working out will probably be something I will always fail at. At first the issue was I didn't have the time, but now it's May Term and I definitally have the time. I'm just lacking the will. BUT I still want to attempt at some point, we'll just see when that actually occurs.
Anyway. We'll stop there. hpefully, and know I've said this a million times. But I can get back into blogging and such.we'll see.
And I really don't want to try and re think and fill you in on all the great happenings of the past 3 months; the stupid class projects for stagecraft, the job I thought I loved and now left, the car getting wrecked another 2 times and etc. So I'll just begin with some recent events.
As the title of the blog foreshadows, I lost my v-card last night. And no, I don't mean the romantic type v-card. Psh, I lost that awhile ago. I lost my concert v-card. Yep, true story. Up until last night i had never been to a legitimate concert. While I've enjoyed most of the music I've heard at NACA and our CAB events, I really don't consider them to be real life concerts. It was a fun time. About 8 of us took a drive out to Omaha to see a group called "Jukebox the ghost". They first saw them when they opened for Ben Fold when he was in Des Moines back in March. They're a fun energetic alternative band and have some pretty interesting songs. So, I'm glad I was able to give my v-card to such a deserving band.
In other news
It's currently May Term and I am ABSOLUTLY loving it! It's been an amazing great time. The weather could be a bit more cooperative and someone needs to twitter mother nature and let her know that she needs to make it nice. But today is a gorgeous day and so I'm happy. We played some mud volleyball earlier and it was great, sloshing around in a big pile of dirt and water.
And there's actually no new boy drama or news. I've been pretty tame and have been doing my best to avoid that whole scene and it is working out for me!
ANNNND you're pry wondering how I did with those new years resolutions I talked about in my last post.
HAHA, well obvi I have failed at blogging regularly. But I've actually done a somewhat decent job on the J&S gossip front. I bitch and gossip about them on ocassion, when good shit comes up. BUT for the most part I've taken the "eh you bore me" approach. AND I have definitally failed at the working out thing and am beginning to accept that working out will probably be something I will always fail at. At first the issue was I didn't have the time, but now it's May Term and I definitally have the time. I'm just lacking the will. BUT I still want to attempt at some point, we'll just see when that actually occurs.
Anyway. We'll stop there. hpefully, and know I've said this a million times. But I can get back into blogging and such.we'll see.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Your rejection is a compliment
It's been a little over a month since my flirtatious relationship with "The Real World" has ended. When they decided that they had no more interest in me and like every guy I have ever attempted to date, they simply stopped calling.
I was surprised at how well I actually took the rejection, maybe it's because I've gotten accustomed to it or because I had a feeling that it was going to end and they weren't going to call. I'm surprised that I "handled" the rejection as well as I did though. Before it actually happened, I figured I'd be stressed and pissed over it for a few days. Cry a bit. Hate life. Hate MTV and be my normal DQ self. BUT I actually wasn't. It was more of "eh, oh well". I think that some friends took it harder than I did. When broke the news to a few people they made excuses for me. saying maybe they didn't call yet because of the thanksgiving holiday or that I still had a week. But no. They just didn't want me. And I'm fine with that.
For starters, it means I'm not 100% fucked up. You look at some of the seasons and you think "HOLY COW" who are these people. They have issues etc. etc. You know that the casting directors love those people and if I would have made it any farther it would imply that I was actually one of them. Semi's was a good place to end up. It means I am interesting, I have a bit of drama in my life and they saw something interesting. But they got bored because I wasn't a complete basketcase, and I can live with that.
Even though it would have been amazing to take a semester of school and get paid to live in a sweet house and drink all the time. There's plenty back here at Simpson that I can now look forward to. The biggest probably being NACA in February. Plus things were going awesome with the house and it would have sucked to leave when I had actually been around for a semester.
BUT I'm not giving up on the RW yet. I think I was a little too nice with my interviews and tapes. They asked to see some different sides of me and I only showed them the good sides. I barely scraped the edge when it comes to things people shouldn't know about me. Like how needy and jealous I get. How possesive I can be. My irritation for idiots and I could continue. So I think my next audition tape will be an angry rant at them. PLUS I now know what things I should milk a little more. Even though I don't really give a shit that I've never seen my real dad. I can pretend for them that I do. That it eats me up on the inside that I've never met the man who gave me life. That's the stuff they want to hear.
So, while I'm complimented that I'm not a total basket case. I kinda want to be one. Lets get real. I'm still an attention whore who's current life goal is to get on reality tv.
I was surprised at how well I actually took the rejection, maybe it's because I've gotten accustomed to it or because I had a feeling that it was going to end and they weren't going to call. I'm surprised that I "handled" the rejection as well as I did though. Before it actually happened, I figured I'd be stressed and pissed over it for a few days. Cry a bit. Hate life. Hate MTV and be my normal DQ self. BUT I actually wasn't. It was more of "eh, oh well". I think that some friends took it harder than I did. When broke the news to a few people they made excuses for me. saying maybe they didn't call yet because of the thanksgiving holiday or that I still had a week. But no. They just didn't want me. And I'm fine with that.
For starters, it means I'm not 100% fucked up. You look at some of the seasons and you think "HOLY COW" who are these people. They have issues etc. etc. You know that the casting directors love those people and if I would have made it any farther it would imply that I was actually one of them. Semi's was a good place to end up. It means I am interesting, I have a bit of drama in my life and they saw something interesting. But they got bored because I wasn't a complete basketcase, and I can live with that.
Even though it would have been amazing to take a semester of school and get paid to live in a sweet house and drink all the time. There's plenty back here at Simpson that I can now look forward to. The biggest probably being NACA in February. Plus things were going awesome with the house and it would have sucked to leave when I had actually been around for a semester.
BUT I'm not giving up on the RW yet. I think I was a little too nice with my interviews and tapes. They asked to see some different sides of me and I only showed them the good sides. I barely scraped the edge when it comes to things people shouldn't know about me. Like how needy and jealous I get. How possesive I can be. My irritation for idiots and I could continue. So I think my next audition tape will be an angry rant at them. PLUS I now know what things I should milk a little more. Even though I don't really give a shit that I've never seen my real dad. I can pretend for them that I do. That it eats me up on the inside that I've never met the man who gave me life. That's the stuff they want to hear.
So, while I'm complimented that I'm not a total basket case. I kinda want to be one. Lets get real. I'm still an attention whore who's current life goal is to get on reality tv.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
It's That Time Again
HAPPY NEW YEAR!...well, okay 3 days late...but we're close.
Now's that time of year again. Where everyone dreams big and sets goals to change for the better-- lose weight, stop smoking, eat healty etc. And we all keep up with these goals for 2 or 3 weeks,before falling back into the swing of the same routine last year and disappointing ourselves once again and saying "I'll just do it next year."
Generally, I don't make "New Year's Resolutions", for one, I've never really found anything in my life that I was motivated enough to change and 2) and I knew that I would be like a majority of people and forget I even made the resolution and go back to my same ol same ol rountine.
WELL, this year I have made a few resolutions, 4 to be precise and I would actually like to follow through with them.
Resolution 1- Quit talking/gossiping/hating and drama-tizing about "you know who's"
Pretty much anyone who is somewhat of a friend of mine should know that I have a particular distaste.....well..okay...HATE for two certain individuals. Two people are who literally crazy,fat,annoying,stupid...oh shit..wait..i'm not supposed to be saying that......well anyway. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have drama stories about these two out the wazoo. Everyday they've done something new to piss me off or I've heard something new about them that I spread like wildfire within 5 minutes of hearing about it. I'm not even going to get into why I hate them or how one stabbed me in the back as a BFF and the other is a complete dumbass conference assistant. BUT I'm done. I waste way too much of my breath talking about these two for no reason. 99.9% of the people who know who they are agree with my feelings, only probably not quite as strongly and so there's no point in complaining. From now on I'm brushing off their drama and no longer speaking of them. It'll save my breath, save me alot of stress and give my roomate a rest from hearing me bitch about them. Besides, I believe in karma and I heard hate doesn't do a body good.
Resolution 2-Eat Healty
I admit this is a pretty general one. Everyone always attempts to lose weight or eat healthy in the New Year, but I need to join in. If you actually saw my diet you would wonder how I'm not the size of blimp by this point....it's a called a great metabolism. BUT I'm going to give my metabolism a rest, so I can save it and use it when I'm 40 and just start eating healty and maybe attempting to exercise. I'm not going to be stupid, there's no way in hell I'm going to go all gung ho with it and completely remove all junk food from my life....that would never happen. Especially when you have Sally as a cook. I'm just going to work on making better decisions as to what I eat at 1am when I'm doing homework (which is actually probably to simply not eat) and also attempt to run at least twice a week. Then maybe, I could get my long lost ab section back AND not get winded when walking up to Hawley.
Resolution 3-Be on time to things.
I am nitorious for being late. Especially to work. The managers and I at the GAP actually joke about my punctuality and they've learned to not expect me at my scheduled time but five minutes later is good. Well, I need to stop that. If I actually want a good recommendation, where they can tell my future boss I'm actually on time, I should probably start doing it. Besides, it would save me the stress I get when speeding to work and it might cut down on my road rage. Specially since when I grow up I will need to be on time to work.
Resolution 4- Blog once a week.
There's so many times I think about something I could blog about,then I forget or don't and the next thing you know, it's been 2 months and I haven't touched my blog. Blogging helps me sort my mind out, allows me to vent AND gives you something good to read. Plus, if I decide to someday pursue journalism more or reality television it should help.
So, those are it. The big 4 for the year. I didn't get crazy ridiculous with my goals. I didn't set my sights too high. Like me quitting being such a procrastinator, or doing my homework or quit being gay. We knew all those would be impossible. So I stuck with things I can actually do. We'll see how it goes.
Now's that time of year again. Where everyone dreams big and sets goals to change for the better-- lose weight, stop smoking, eat healty etc. And we all keep up with these goals for 2 or 3 weeks,before falling back into the swing of the same routine last year and disappointing ourselves once again and saying "I'll just do it next year."
Generally, I don't make "New Year's Resolutions", for one, I've never really found anything in my life that I was motivated enough to change and 2) and I knew that I would be like a majority of people and forget I even made the resolution and go back to my same ol same ol rountine.
WELL, this year I have made a few resolutions, 4 to be precise and I would actually like to follow through with them.
Resolution 1- Quit talking/gossiping/hating and drama-tizing about "you know who's"
Pretty much anyone who is somewhat of a friend of mine should know that I have a particular distaste.....well..okay...HATE for two certain individuals. Two people are who literally crazy,fat,annoying,stupid...oh shit..wait..i'm not supposed to be saying that......well anyway. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have drama stories about these two out the wazoo. Everyday they've done something new to piss me off or I've heard something new about them that I spread like wildfire within 5 minutes of hearing about it. I'm not even going to get into why I hate them or how one stabbed me in the back as a BFF and the other is a complete dumbass conference assistant. BUT I'm done. I waste way too much of my breath talking about these two for no reason. 99.9% of the people who know who they are agree with my feelings, only probably not quite as strongly and so there's no point in complaining. From now on I'm brushing off their drama and no longer speaking of them. It'll save my breath, save me alot of stress and give my roomate a rest from hearing me bitch about them. Besides, I believe in karma and I heard hate doesn't do a body good.
Resolution 2-Eat Healty
I admit this is a pretty general one. Everyone always attempts to lose weight or eat healthy in the New Year, but I need to join in. If you actually saw my diet you would wonder how I'm not the size of blimp by this point....it's a called a great metabolism. BUT I'm going to give my metabolism a rest, so I can save it and use it when I'm 40 and just start eating healty and maybe attempting to exercise. I'm not going to be stupid, there's no way in hell I'm going to go all gung ho with it and completely remove all junk food from my life....that would never happen. Especially when you have Sally as a cook. I'm just going to work on making better decisions as to what I eat at 1am when I'm doing homework (which is actually probably to simply not eat) and also attempt to run at least twice a week. Then maybe, I could get my long lost ab section back AND not get winded when walking up to Hawley.
Resolution 3-Be on time to things.
I am nitorious for being late. Especially to work. The managers and I at the GAP actually joke about my punctuality and they've learned to not expect me at my scheduled time but five minutes later is good. Well, I need to stop that. If I actually want a good recommendation, where they can tell my future boss I'm actually on time, I should probably start doing it. Besides, it would save me the stress I get when speeding to work and it might cut down on my road rage. Specially since when I grow up I will need to be on time to work.
Resolution 4- Blog once a week.
There's so many times I think about something I could blog about,then I forget or don't and the next thing you know, it's been 2 months and I haven't touched my blog. Blogging helps me sort my mind out, allows me to vent AND gives you something good to read. Plus, if I decide to someday pursue journalism more or reality television it should help.
So, those are it. The big 4 for the year. I didn't get crazy ridiculous with my goals. I didn't set my sights too high. Like me quitting being such a procrastinator, or doing my homework or quit being gay. We knew all those would be impossible. So I stuck with things I can actually do. We'll see how it goes.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I'm 21......now what?
In less than 12 hours I will officially be 21 years old! I've been more excited this last week than a 5 year old waiting for Christmas.
However, a sudden and disappointing thought hit me the other day, while I shared my excitement with co-workers; as I diligently folded clothes at unamed mass production retailer............I have no more exciting birthdays left ;(
If you think about it, during childhood and the early years every birthday is exciting. It means getting to bring treats to school, mom and dad letting you do what you want and cards and money from all your relatives. As you progress into your teen years these tends continue; with maybe the exception of treats at school, but you're birthday's are more "rewarding". On your 14th birthday you get your permit, your 16th you get your license. On your 17th birthday you can attend rated "R" movies on your own and at the ripe seemingly old age at the time of 18--you are an adult and get to vote,buy tobacco products and go to the strip club. And last but not least the big 2-1, where I no longer have to pay hobo's on the street to buy my booze. Where I can gamble and even rent a car....but now what?
From this point forward there are no more exciting birthdays. There's no more magical doors that open. From now own, I just get older and older and older. Seriously, no one I can think of looks forward to their 30th or 40th birthday. In college world, once you hit 22 or 23 in some cases, people start calling you old balls. None of these sound too fun.
And if you look at the bigger picture, outside of just aging, things don't get much brighter.
Currently, I have a dwindling economy to look forward to...which is great, seeing as in a year and a half I'm graduating from a private institution with an expected $30grand in debt. And companies seem to laying off,rather than hiring...my prospects at paying off that debt in a quick and timely fashion, while also still affording life necesseities, like food,booze and clothes..doesn't seem too likely.
As we know, romance has tended to suck for Drew and with an increasing divorce rate currently at 50%, combined with laws like "Prop 8" my chances at not only finding love to begin with,but actually getting married if it does happen don't look too bright either.
And then there is the growing up thing. Having to live on my own. In my own apartment. Where I pay montly bills like utilities,rent, and health insurance. I don't know how to do that. Right now I pay my beginning of the year bill for Simpson and I'm set to go and when car insurance is due Dad calls and reminds me. I'm the worlds best procastinator with an added case of ADD how does someone expect me to remember to pay my rent,ultities,health insurance etc. on time. When I forget to pay dues for SAE when I'm still reminded weekly?
Plus there's cooking for myself! I've lived in SAE this last week and since no one's around there's no food and I've been lost. It's either been fast food or top ramen, and once when I felt fancy and bold I made spaghetti. I don't remember how to grocery shop for healthy things or cook. For the first 18 years of my life mom took care of that and I just had to open the refridgerator and things were there. Now, it's pretty much the same only its our steward or Sally buying the stuff and I can choose what I want. I don't know if I can handle having to fend for myself .
So, I'm almost 21...YAY!? But now I have to start thinking about being a grownup,getting a job, and taking care of myself? I don't know if it's worth it....but hey... I guess I can now just drink my problems away...
However, a sudden and disappointing thought hit me the other day, while I shared my excitement with co-workers; as I diligently folded clothes at unamed mass production retailer............I have no more exciting birthdays left ;(
If you think about it, during childhood and the early years every birthday is exciting. It means getting to bring treats to school, mom and dad letting you do what you want and cards and money from all your relatives. As you progress into your teen years these tends continue; with maybe the exception of treats at school, but you're birthday's are more "rewarding". On your 14th birthday you get your permit, your 16th you get your license. On your 17th birthday you can attend rated "R" movies on your own and at the ripe seemingly old age at the time of 18--you are an adult and get to vote,buy tobacco products and go to the strip club. And last but not least the big 2-1, where I no longer have to pay hobo's on the street to buy my booze. Where I can gamble and even rent a car....but now what?
From this point forward there are no more exciting birthdays. There's no more magical doors that open. From now own, I just get older and older and older. Seriously, no one I can think of looks forward to their 30th or 40th birthday. In college world, once you hit 22 or 23 in some cases, people start calling you old balls. None of these sound too fun.
And if you look at the bigger picture, outside of just aging, things don't get much brighter.
Currently, I have a dwindling economy to look forward to...which is great, seeing as in a year and a half I'm graduating from a private institution with an expected $30grand in debt. And companies seem to laying off,rather than hiring...my prospects at paying off that debt in a quick and timely fashion, while also still affording life necesseities, like food,booze and clothes..doesn't seem too likely.
As we know, romance has tended to suck for Drew and with an increasing divorce rate currently at 50%, combined with laws like "Prop 8" my chances at not only finding love to begin with,but actually getting married if it does happen don't look too bright either.
And then there is the growing up thing. Having to live on my own. In my own apartment. Where I pay montly bills like utilities,rent, and health insurance. I don't know how to do that. Right now I pay my beginning of the year bill for Simpson and I'm set to go and when car insurance is due Dad calls and reminds me. I'm the worlds best procastinator with an added case of ADD how does someone expect me to remember to pay my rent,ultities,health insurance etc. on time. When I forget to pay dues for SAE when I'm still reminded weekly?
Plus there's cooking for myself! I've lived in SAE this last week and since no one's around there's no food and I've been lost. It's either been fast food or top ramen, and once when I felt fancy and bold I made spaghetti. I don't remember how to grocery shop for healthy things or cook. For the first 18 years of my life mom took care of that and I just had to open the refridgerator and things were there. Now, it's pretty much the same only its our steward or Sally buying the stuff and I can choose what I want. I don't know if I can handle having to fend for myself .
So, I'm almost 21...YAY!? But now I have to start thinking about being a grownup,getting a job, and taking care of myself? I don't know if it's worth it....but hey... I guess I can now just drink my problems away...
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