Sunday, January 11, 2009

Your rejection is a compliment

It's been a little over a month since my flirtatious relationship with "The Real World" has ended. When they decided that they had no more interest in me and like every guy I have ever attempted to date, they simply stopped calling.

I was surprised at how well I actually took the rejection, maybe it's because I've gotten accustomed to it or because I had a feeling that it was going to end and they weren't going to call. I'm surprised that I "handled" the rejection as well as I did though. Before it actually happened, I figured I'd be stressed and pissed over it for a few days. Cry a bit. Hate life. Hate MTV and be my normal DQ self. BUT I actually wasn't. It was more of "eh, oh well". I think that some friends took it harder than I did. When broke the news to a few people they made excuses for me. saying maybe they didn't call yet because of the thanksgiving holiday or that I still had a week. But no. They just didn't want me. And I'm fine with that.

For starters, it means I'm not 100% fucked up. You look at some of the seasons and you think "HOLY COW" who are these people. They have issues etc. etc. You know that the casting directors love those people and if I would have made it any farther it would imply that I was actually one of them. Semi's was a good place to end up. It means I am interesting, I have a bit of drama in my life and they saw something interesting. But they got bored because I wasn't a complete basketcase, and I can live with that.

Even though it would have been amazing to take a semester of school and get paid to live in a sweet house and drink all the time. There's plenty back here at Simpson that I can now look forward to. The biggest probably being NACA in February. Plus things were going awesome with the house and it would have sucked to leave when I had actually been around for a semester.

BUT I'm not giving up on the RW yet. I think I was a little too nice with my interviews and tapes. They asked to see some different sides of me and I only showed them the good sides. I barely scraped the edge when it comes to things people shouldn't know about me. Like how needy and jealous I get. How possesive I can be. My irritation for idiots and I could continue. So I think my next audition tape will be an angry rant at them. PLUS I now know what things I should milk a little more. Even though I don't really give a shit that I've never seen my real dad. I can pretend for them that I do. That it eats me up on the inside that I've never met the man who gave me life. That's the stuff they want to hear.

So, while I'm complimented that I'm not a total basket case. I kinda want to be one. Lets get real. I'm still an attention whore who's current life goal is to get on reality tv.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

It's That Time Again

HAPPY NEW YEAR!...well, okay 3 days late...but we're close.

Now's that time of year again. Where everyone dreams big and sets goals to change for the better-- lose weight, stop smoking, eat healty etc. And we all keep up with these goals for 2 or 3 weeks,before falling back into the swing of the same routine last year and disappointing ourselves once again and saying "I'll just do it next year."

Generally, I don't make "New Year's Resolutions", for one, I've never really found anything in my life that I was motivated enough to change and 2) and I knew that I would be like a majority of people and forget I even made the resolution and go back to my same ol same ol rountine.

WELL, this year I have made a few resolutions, 4 to be precise and I would actually like to follow through with them.

Resolution 1- Quit talking/gossiping/hating and drama-tizing about "you know who's"
Pretty much anyone who is somewhat of a friend of mine should know that I have a particular distaste.....well..okay...HATE for two certain individuals. Two people are who literally crazy,fat,annoying,stupid...oh shit..wait..i'm not supposed to be saying that......well anyway. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have drama stories about these two out the wazoo. Everyday they've done something new to piss me off or I've heard something new about them that I spread like wildfire within 5 minutes of hearing about it. I'm not even going to get into why I hate them or how one stabbed me in the back as a BFF and the other is a complete dumbass conference assistant. BUT I'm done. I waste way too much of my breath talking about these two for no reason. 99.9% of the people who know who they are agree with my feelings, only probably not quite as strongly and so there's no point in complaining. From now on I'm brushing off their drama and no longer speaking of them. It'll save my breath, save me alot of stress and give my roomate a rest from hearing me bitch about them. Besides, I believe in karma and I heard hate doesn't do a body good.

Resolution 2-Eat Healty
I admit this is a pretty general one. Everyone always attempts to lose weight or eat healthy in the New Year, but I need to join in. If you actually saw my diet you would wonder how I'm not the size of blimp by this's a called a great metabolism. BUT I'm going to give my metabolism a rest, so I can save it and use it when I'm 40 and just start eating healty and maybe attempting to exercise. I'm not going to be stupid, there's no way in hell I'm going to go all gung ho with it and completely remove all junk food from my life....that would never happen. Especially when you have Sally as a cook. I'm just going to work on making better decisions as to what I eat at 1am when I'm doing homework (which is actually probably to simply not eat) and also attempt to run at least twice a week. Then maybe, I could get my long lost ab section back AND not get winded when walking up to Hawley.

Resolution 3-Be on time to things.
I am nitorious for being late. Especially to work. The managers and I at the GAP actually joke about my punctuality and they've learned to not expect me at my scheduled time but five minutes later is good. Well, I need to stop that. If I actually want a good recommendation, where they can tell my future boss I'm actually on time, I should probably start doing it. Besides, it would save me the stress I get when speeding to work and it might cut down on my road rage. Specially since when I grow up I will need to be on time to work.

Resolution 4- Blog once a week.
There's so many times I think about something I could blog about,then I forget or don't and the next thing you know, it's been 2 months and I haven't touched my blog. Blogging helps me sort my mind out, allows me to vent AND gives you something good to read. Plus, if I decide to someday pursue journalism more or reality television it should help.

So, those are it. The big 4 for the year. I didn't get crazy ridiculous with my goals. I didn't set my sights too high. Like me quitting being such a procrastinator, or doing my homework or quit being gay. We knew all those would be impossible. So I stuck with things I can actually do. We'll see how it goes.