It's always a climb to the top

I had a realization the other day.

I realized that even as a college senior and I'm guessing it'll continue after, but there's always going to be a social heiarchy and that need for "acceptance".

And I'm not talking about the rich, poor middle class type social ladder. I mean the cool/"not cool"/ wannabe cool type heiarcy that we all succomb to.

I was with a group of my friends and it kinda dawned me as we were all hanging out and guys were interacting and I noticed it. And it's always the same type of setup or whatever. Everyone kinda had that "role", just like in HS.



First there's the kid who's COOL just because. The one that just has that natural personality that everyone draws to, everyone wants to be around and they kinda set the tone. They're the "influencer", the one that creates nicknames or sayings and they catch like WiLdFiRe They don't try to fit in or be "cool", they just are.



Then you have the "sidekick", the person who's usually at the right hand of the "influencer". This person is considered cool by everyone, but you can tell he tries. He has that constant NEED to be with the "in crowd" and always needs to be part of the ExClUsIvE clique. They have a need to exclude people, so they feel like they're special and better. The sidekick can't do anything alone either. They need people to follow them, do what they want or they'll do what someone else is because they don't know how to do things alone.



Then there's the "wannabe". The kid that tries so hard to fit in and be hang out with the "cool" kids, but always slightly fails. The "cool kids" are nice to him and keep him around, but for some reason he always falls just short of reaching that "cool rung" on the social ladder.



You also have the "soloist". The guy that isn't part of the "in crowd" and he doesn't care, because he doesn't try. He has NO interest in being popular, which ironically enough usually makes him popular; because everyone respects and appreciates his dismissal of the social structure.



Every group usually has the "floater". The kid who fits everywhere, but nowhere. He has the ability to hang out with almost any group, but has no permanent place in any of them; leaving him kind of homeless. This kid probably wants to be "cool", but isn't willing to completely conform and follow like the "sidekick" does. He kinda just does his thing, attempting to fit in, sometimes WINNING, sometimes failing and he's not really bothered either way.

I hadn't really thought much about this in awhile, not since high school really. When I was definitally more on the loser end of things. Being the only gay kid in a school 200 kinda of handicaps you socially. But I was fine with it, really. I was one of the kids who was ready to graduate when I was in the 8th grade and was too aNnOyEd with the whole social battle.

In college I've actually been "popular", and its been fUn. And I still didn't really think about this whole social structure that always seems to exist until I noticed it with my friends. And it was pretty much like I just described. "S" is our influencer, just doing what he wants and people love him for it. "B" is his sidekick, excluding people at times, doing his best to always have people with him, and just always trying to fit in. L is the wannabe. He's a gr8 kid and means well, but he just kinda falls short. And I'd consider myself the floater. I love hanging out with them and have a good time with them. But i'm not really that afraid to say no and do what I want.

But it hit me. And I kinda laughed about it. Thinking how even when we're 30 ,we are probably going to deal with it. Some people stepping on others to fit in. Some wanting to fit in so bad and others not caring at all.

Love? Clubs? What? YOU ARE 15!

So,

Little teen twerps singing about love and going to the club and hating and cheating whatever else annoy me beyond belief!!

I tend to not be a violent person, but really I could probably PuNcH Justin Beiber in. the. face!

And while, I am in love with Miley Cyrus, something Barista doesn't get. And even though I am borderline obsessed with "Party In The U.S.A.", I kinda want to SLAP her in the face... I mean realllllly?? You aren't nodding your head or moving your hips in the club... You.Are. 16!!! Tell your washed up has been of a dad to find you new material .Sing about getting your license or going to the mall. Isn't that what you do @ 16?

Same with STUPID Justin Beiber.

"Your world is my world

And your fight is my fight

My breath is your breath

and your heart

and girl your my one love, my one heart

my one life, for sure"

Really!?! You are 15!! My one life? How do you know about one life? All you know is playing basketball and milk and cookies? Seriously? ugh...

However, I DO get pleasure out of the fact that alot of people when first hearing the song get excited and think its a lesbian love song because his pre-pubescent voice sounds like a chick.

A few years ago, that girl Jo Jo had the same thing...singing at the age of 14 about "cheating" and other girls. What did your "boyfriend" do? Hold someone else's hand at recess?

I do NOT get why these teen little twerps think people actually enjoy listening to them sing about love and loss and stuff that they are YEARS from experiencing .Further more, why the HELL are their parents letting them sing about it..oh wait..yea..nvm....the millions they're making of their child selling albums and touring because tweeny little girls love them and make mommy and daddy buy their cds,posters,t-shirts and concert tickets.

So, yea. a little bit of advice and note to anyone out there that may be 13 and wanting a career in music. SING ABOUT STUFF YOU KNOW!! Like the mall and the Disney Channel and annoying brothers and sisters or even abusive parents. I don't care. Just shut up about finding your true love and the club and cheating boyfriends and girlfriends. You sound stupid and we all know you have no clue what you are talking about!

Is this aisle open? I'm ready to CHECK OUT

It's finally settling in......Something I really didn't think would happen to me. Something that I've been dreading for the last 3 years and now, but as I begin to accept its unavoidable and going to happen no matter what, I've succombed-unconsciencly, but now I've realized it...and am okay with it.

My friends, I'm officially a victim of senioritis.

If you would have asked me if I was ready for graduation back in August, I would have said NO WAY JOSE!!! But as the year has progressed I'm slowly getting ready for it.

I'm slightly getting ExCiTeD about the idea of growing up and having a real job. I'll miss all the holiday breaks and ability to act irresponsible and blame it on college, but I'm also excited to see the real world..i think. What actually really excites me though, while also being slightly scary, is the idea that I could really, do whatever come May. I could pack up leave and head to Europe if I wanted. I could move to the streets. I could move to NYC. The opportunities are endless and its one of the most exciting yet terrifying feelings ever.

Don't ask what I want to do though. I'm still not quite sure. Some days I want to do event planning for the entertianment or art world-the next I want to go corporate. Some days I want to just move to Australia for a year, just for something different and to be a bum. I've also thought about doing PR work. Maybe journalism. I'm also still trying to decide if I want to go back to camp for the summer or if I want to find an internship somewhere, like maybe with the pageant people and actually make $$$...idk.. I'm not really much of a plan-aheader, so I'll pry decide in April or May =)

Okay, so anyway. I am most definitally checked out already and have the mindset of "I'm a senior, I don't really care". Classes don't really feel like classes. Maybe it's only because I have 1 a day..but i just it there kinda all "eh, i'm here..not really paying attention" etc.. and usually, I'm engaged and interested in whats going on. not so much anymore.

I also see it with some activities on campus, its just like. I don't really care. I'm gone, I gave my leadership and time for the last 3 years, let someone else take over.

But it's also not a great thing. I'm working really hard to make sure I don't check out of being student body president. I would really like to do something fantastic and kinda leave my mark. So when I leave, my advisor and the ppl on SGA remember that Drew did something worthwhile....Which I think will happen. I mean, i legit care about this organization and would like to see a few things happen, and I definitally now have the time to put into them. So I think I can manage that.

ANND, I'm also excited because I'm working on an internship with the Des Moines Social Club. So that'll be exciting. I've talked to the guy I'll be working with , and it sounds like I'll get to help with alot of the event stuff and that'll be PERFECT and exciting!

So yea.... sorry that this blog is a slight tidge random and not really that eloquent..haha..not that my others are..this one just feels more random than even the others though....

but yea..idk..i'm checked out..i'd much rather sit in my sweats and watch tv all day ( which I actually did Monday) than go to class or be productive....maybe I just need to get back into the swing of things.....idk..i spose we'll see.

I'm Sick & Tired that YOU'RE "sick and tired"

Okay,

So I like to think that I'm a pretty laid back person when it comes to things bothering me. I really feel like there's not alot that does besides; stupid people, cold weather and ARROGANT JERKS. But when talking about schedules etc. today with a friend an issue came up that can often set me off into a rant, and that would be the people that always whine and mOaN about how much they have to do, how tired they are, how busy they are etc.

Here's the deal; previous to this semester, I was a pretty BuSy person. During my last 3.5 years at college I was involved in almost every group possible; CAB president my sophomore and Junior year, CAB marketing director this previous semester, I've had a position on IFC since my freshman year, I've always had a work study , usually a part time job or even two, I've held a couple executive offices in my fraternity, 16 credit hours every semester, EAC, AI, I've been an editor for our school newspaper since my sophomore year, I've been a community service scholar, serve on a regional planning committee for an organization and etc. SO with that, my days were usually pretty looooooong, starting with class at 9am and going till about 6 or 7pm, sometimes MiDNiGhT if we had a comedian or CAB event.

But the thing is, I LOVED it! That's how I thrive. Right now I'm still getting used to having free time in the middle of the day.

Yeah, @ times it would get sTrESsfUl and I felt like I needed to punch someone or pull my hair out, but I did my best not to complain....why? Because I SIGNED UP FOR IT! I knew what I was getting into when I joined this club or that. I knew it would be ALOT of responsibilty and a big time commitment, so I felt slightly HyPoCrItIcAL turning around and complaining. On top of that, I wasn't an idiot. I knew there were plenty of people who were just as busy, some probably even busier than I was.

So, a message to those of you that complain all the time. SHUT UP! You are not the only busy one! You should have know when you took on the responsibilities that it would get stressful @ times It reallllllly annoys those of us that are busy too. It gets tiring hearing "Oh my gawd..i'm so busy..i haven't slept. ETC etc etc."

Besides, if you're really that busy, are you really accomplishing anything? I've learned this the hard way. But if you have yourself split 50 different ways, chances are you aren't putting enough effort into all your groups/responsibilities and then not only are YOU losing, but the group you are SUPPOSED to be helping is losing out too.

So cut back, focus more time on less activities and do something awesome with them.

But if you do decide you want to sleep 4 hours every night and have groups coming out your years, don't complain to me! You chose it, now deal with it!

They're Not Just Pretty Faces

SO, every once in awhile I actually have a topic that I'm serious & or passionate about. It doesn't really happen too often, but on ocassion it does, and THIS would be one of those topics.

Last year I started volunteering for Miss USA state preliminary pageants...and for those of you who may be confused....Miss USA is the one owned by Donald Trump and seen on NBC and the one that can ultimately lead to Miss Universe. But anyway..



I got hooked up with the gig through this board I serve on for our regional NACA meetings; I'm the student rep and the woman who is our associate rep, also owns a company that produces these pageants. Welll, during our summer meeting 2 summers ago, we were chatting and I mentioned I wanted to do event planning when I grow up and she asked me to help her with pageants and bla bla bla...HERE I AM.

I jumped into this experience expecting what most people think; big boobs, big hair, big ATTITUDES and lots of dresses and swimsuits. WELL, after my first pageant last fall my preception COMPLETELY changed.

These girls are NOT the BiTcHy,self engrossed,make up caked women, so many of us think.

These girls are Confident, motivated, smart young women who want to CHANGE the world, and I guarantee you that most will.

While volunteering at the Miss Minnesota USA pageant I met a girl who CLIMBED Mt. Kilamanjaro and raised $6,000 to fight AIDS, @ Miss Minnesota USA I met a girl who wrote a book EmPowErinG young women, I met another who's danced world wide and yet another who created a company that works with young women to give them CONFIDENCE and poise. & This is just in 1 state.

While the movie "Miss Congeniality" attempts to make fun of pageants and admittedly gets some things head on, it also got something else right....... these girls really do want world peace.

They're fighting to do something PoSiTiVe, not only for themselves, but for the people around them.

YES! Occasionally you find the beauty queen who likes to think she walks on a red carpet and is God's Gift to the world, but 90% of the time, these girls are FuN, energetic, oUtGoInG, and the sweetest things ever.

These girls are smart; most of them have 4.0s, studying everything ranging from Journalism and Communications to Spanish and Biology.

Some critics may complain about the swimsuit competition. Claiming that pageants cause girls to become anorexic and promote unhealty eating behaviors. WRONG! I'm not going to deny that some girls do go down the wrong path and skip their meals or pray to the procelin gods after eating. But most don't. These girls learn how to eat healthy, how to work out, stay in shape and get that healthy well toned body. Something a majority of us are TOO LAZY, to work on! The judges don't want to see walking ribcages onstage, trust me.

I will admit that is unfortunate that in the end, what is going really help the get the girl the crown is how pretty she is, and that it's ironic of sorts that while these girls are doing all these gr8 things and working their tails off, in the end it comes down to her face. I would like to point something out before anyone gets too EnRaGEd at this and tries to fight againt the pageant system.

Whoever wins the title of Miss USA is going to spend the following year traveling all over the COUNTRY promoting and working with all sorts of charities and causes, and who is the general American public going to listen to? Who is REALLY going to get peoples attention and get them 2 lend a hand? The beautiful sPUnKy brunette that stands OUT in the crowd. OR the short squat girl who looks like everyone else.

It sounds bitchy and it sounds blunt and it even sounds a little too simplified. BUT lets get real, it's the truth. Society likes pretty people and Miss USA uses that to do some good!!!

So next time, before you crack a joke or yell at the tv when you see that the Miss USA pageant is coming up, don't mock. Remember that these girls have worked so so sooooo hard to get to that level.!!And that really, they're just doing their BEST to make a difference,for themselves and for the world.

And there goes that big fat mouth

Okay...so while I had intended on talking about pageants in this next segment, once again a newer topic of discussion has come up that I'd prefer to discuss.

Sooooooo......in a previous couple ,of blogs I talked about "P", for those of you who regularly read this, you'll notice thats not his original nickname. Well, while I thought that nickname I had given P was cReAtIvE,CATCHY and anonymous, apparently it wasn't. See, Drew forgot that some people in my area, actually read the blog and in true "only Drew" fashion, the blog got passed on to P and he READ it and obvi wasn't the biggest fan.

So, I got a facebook message from him and he explained to me why he didn't ever get back to me and called me out on a few of the comments I had made. AND explained his side of the story....

And it made sense...I got caught up in the bitter rejection swing of things and said a few things that pry weren't the smartest things to say on my blog. Especially since my words of ocassional wisdom are there for EVERYONE to see :S

I'm not going to take back everything I said, I did say it, and it is what I was thinking at the time, but would like to remind all my readers that I don't really ever edit or censor . And as cliche as it sounds, I blog from the heart. When I'm in blog mode it flows and I don't really stop. And lets get real, I studied theatre in college, I can be a bit OVeRdRAmaTiC.

I wasn't trying to be vengeful,spiteful, or hateful. And I wasn't trying to bAsh his name to those that did happen to know him. Soooo I apologize for hurting feelings and offending.

So yea...thats kinda the story on that. The blogging thing is TrIcKy. Yea, it's in a public forum and on-line for the world to see, but sometimes it feels anonymous at the same time since so many people that actually read this don't really know me or the ppl I talk about.

So yea. Turns out I may need to come up with better nicknames in the future....

IN OTHER NEWS

The weather SUCKS...I HaTe winter. I really don't get how people "enjoy" it and the snow. Yea, okay.. so snow days are gr8, YAY no school..but they also kinda suck. I mean, its obvi crapppy outside, so you can't go out and do things to CelEbrAtE no classes. And then the roads are pain in the rear end, and I loathe driving in this weather.

ALSO, I found out Barista Boy reads the blog.......he's a fan =)! So yay on that!!

No other major activities...I realized my mind likes to wannnnder alot and I thought of a few great topics for future editions....... if there's magically some moment where I don't have something actually going on in my life.

boys,jobs and being on time

Okay,

So I'm getting ready to head up to Minneapolis to help out with Pageant Power week, and plan on blogging a bit more about that.....there's ALOT that goes into Miss USA pageantry that most people don't know about and the girls that compete definitally don't get the credit they deserve, but I've decided I can let that all out in a post at a later date..so look for that soon.

BUT today I thought I'd just talk about a few updates and a couple events in my life that can only be classified as something that makes my friends laugh and say "only you".

Sooo okay..first off...things with Barista Boy are still going fantastic!! We hung out NYE, and then went to AVATAR 3-D on Friday (which is an AMAZING movie), it actually has a legit storyline PLUS great visuals!!!!! And we were up till ike 2 texting the other night and have plans to hang out tomorrow, after I get back from the MN..

But yea, I'm still diggin him. I realized the other day that I'm way more comfortable with him than I am with most people in general. I consider myself to be a fun person, but I'm not really ever that "goofy" , but with him I am. IDK.....its fun......

In other news.....I finally have a new part time job...starting Sunday I will be a go-go dancer at a club in West Des Moines(this would be one of those "only you" situations)...haha yuuup..apparently this club wants dancers on Sunday afternoons...which works for me......Sunday's are usually my- nurse my hangover, only leave my couch to pee and eat, watch lifetime movies with my roomates girlfriend all day-day. So it should be a good time and its pretty legit pay =) Which will be nice since I have a Spring Break trip to pay for.

Oh side note, in reference to P..welllllll... I was out on the town w/ my BFF Pocket Saturday night and we definitally ran into him...well sorta...we saw him there and we know he saw us...but there was never any "pleasantries" exchanged..... which was A-OK and I felt even better about myself because while I've upgraded and am now hanging out with Barista, he was with some uggo loser....so, I felt pretty good =)

I also have a new addition to the resolutions....another thing I need to work on is "being on time". I am NiToRiOUs for being late and I'd like to fix that....mom even made a comment the other I had no clue she was making meday..she got mad because I was late for the dinner ....but then she's like.."well, I should've known. You're never on time anyway". So, we're going to work on being punctual.

okkkay...but I think that's it for now...nothing too exciting..Lo Siento...well, i take that back....things with Barista are exciting...

But yea.

Ciao

Another attempt at 2010 Goals

Oh look....it's now my turn to try and hammer out the goals that usually get about a month of attention and hard work before getting givin up on or forgotten about and I go back to my normal,inappropriate college student life....well usually...

BUT I have high hopes and a good feeling about 2010. Yes, its another new year, another dollar.BUT It's also A NEW DECADE and another sign that "grown up world" is getting dauntingly closer. PLUS most of these goals are things I've been working within the last month, and have actually managed to stick to thus far, So we'll see how it goes.

1. Give Up some vices-I'm actually not going to share these vices on here, seeing as there is that chance that people who shouldn't see them would see them. But lets just say, I have been known to gulitly pleasure myself (ha.that sounds wildly inappropriate) with a few things that could get dropped....And no..it's not any sort of drug addiction....just FYI
   
2. Workout-haha..you're probably thinking "WOW DREW, what an original goal for new years!!"...haha..well shutup....this is actually one that I've been doing fairly good @ recently..well, I was until break came and I haven't had access to the gym, but i'm back on campus already. So, hopefully I'll get back into the routine. ANYWAY...my goal isn't to lose weighT......its actually the opposite..this kid, is a scrawny little- or what is commonly referred to in the gay community-"twink". I'm wanting to add some meat to my bones, preferably in the form of muscle, and thats one big reason for the work out goal . But also, you just always feel better after you workout, like you've legit did something during the day. PLUS it's a great stress reliever too.
   
3. Become $$ responsible- my parents would love to see this one. Even though I've had a job since I was about 16, I've still managed to ePIcAlLy FaIl at being financially responsible and doing that whole budgeting thing. And it's finally started to kick me in the teeth the last couple months. So my goal is to find a part time job again because I actually did opt not to work this first semester AND spend the money a little smarter. ie: less trips to the Starbucks, eat out less and actually attempt to budget.
   
4. Do what I say I'm going to-too often I get these ideas to do this or that, but never follow through. And it turns out that the times I do follow through it usually works out (ie: actually auditioning for Real World junior year and making it to semi-finals). WELL, this year I'm going to actually follow through more often. When I say I'm going to audition for Big Brother, I'm going to. When I decide I want to apply for that internship, I'm actually going to do it. I'm figuring this maaaaay come in handy, since I do need to start thinking about the whole job and future thing a little more seriously now =(
   
5. Do a random act of kindness everyday-I figure that in the road to self-improvment and working on things that are bettering me. I could also lend a hand to bettering those around me. SOOO, my goal is to do a random act of something nice everyday. Even if its, picking up the trash I walk by on campus or holding the door for someone juggling too many bags. Just something that can make someone else SmILe or help out in someway.

sooo...yea, those are the top 5 for this year. We'll see what happens. I'm really feeling like this is going to be a good year..I'm HOPING I'm right! I guess time will tell...

so yea, I'll leave with a mantra I've picked out for the next 364 days...

2010...Live it. Love it. Own it.