Thursday, May 13, 2010

Now I've got something to blog about


So it's time for an angry blog. And I guess "angry" is the right word. Maybe aggravated or stressed or maybe even annoyed is a better term. Either way, whatever word you choose, this blog is about letting off some steam.

And really, as usual, in 24 hours I will probaby be completely over this, happy again, wondering why I even wrote this blog and I may even delete it. But it's something that's bugging me, bugging me enough I feel the need blog out my frustrations.

AND as per usual, the anxiety is coming from relationship things. Overall, Barista and I are A-OK. We're not fighting. He's not being a douchebag or any of that. It's more so it's art that's getting in the way.

As you may recall, the Barista is an artist, a good one actually. And this Friday is his first ever solo art show, so he's in full swing on creative mode.

WELL, when the Barista is in creative mode, he becomes a recluse, and Drew gets tossed to the side, slightly forgetten about until his art is done and he remembers that he has a boyfriend. OR that's at least how it feels.

We go from seeing eachother, especially recently, almost every day, to nothing. And I could handle it if it was just that. I don't need to see him everyday. I like to and I want to, but if I can't NBD. I'll survive and manage.No, but what bugs me is that all communication seems to get shut off. No texts, no phone calls etc. That's what bugs me.

And I hate sounding like a needy whiney Bella inspired girl. Someone who thinks they need to be with a man at all times, and I'm not completely that way. BUT I do like to be able to talk to my boyfriend without feeling like I'm being a nusance.

And I don't need constant communication either, and it's also not that he is COMPLETLY blown me off. It's just that a text that at least says. "hi, how's your day" or even "hi, leave me alone. I'm focusing on the show." would be appreciated.

And what further adds to the annoyance is that I won't get a text back from something I sent him 2 hours ago, but in between then I'll see 3 or 4 tweets from him about the show...... Even though he will yell at me if I tweet before texting social media and technology I spose.

SO yea. And it's not that I don't support him. I do. And we've talked about it and he's warned me that's how gets and I said. Okay, I can handle that. And for the most part I do. Well, minus this whole blog thing right now.

I guess my issue is that I feel like I'm the one doing all the work and making the sacrifices and saying "okay, Barista, go ahead and do your art". I'll just sit here and wait for your to return. And he doesn't have to try for me. And I like to think I'm not expecting a lot. But even if you took a timeout and said. Okay, Drew, I'll make time to have dinner or lunch with you. Or go ahead and come over. I'd be happy. But I'm just kinda hurt I guess he doesn't seem to care and is just "leave me alone, I have to do my art".

And also, my friend Pocket has been helping him with the show. Just logistics stuff and getting ready. And I'm kinda jealous that he hasn't asked me. Even after I told him a couple weeks ago that I wanted to help him more. But once again, I asked him today when he wanted me to help and he said that him and pocket had it covered. And yea, I'm kinda hurt....................ugh I sound like such a baby right now. I feel like as the bf, I should be there. Helping. Making sure its going right. I mean, for christs sake, I'm an event planner. I know what the hell I'm doing.

And in his "defense" he did have lunch with me yesterday. BUT I think it was really just because he wanted to pick up the projector I had gotten for him for his art show. And not really because he had any interest in seeing me.

And I know this blog is whiney and complainy and Barista sounds like he's being a total dick.

He's not really. Our relationship is Fine like I said. And I do know that come tomorrow night at 10pm when his art show is done, we'll be fine. It's just something that's bugging me for the time being.

And he's not meaning to do any of it on purpose. I know he loves me etc. It's just how he does his art. And it is ultimately something I'm going to have to deal with if I want to keep him. And I do. So I will. And I'm guessing as time goes on I'll get more and more used to it.

So. yea. That's what's bugging me. Getting ditched by my boyfriend so he can go be creative and make great art.

Barista, if you happen to read this. Lo Siento. i know you don't mean to. I promise, in reality I'm fine. It's just me in one of my moody/whiney baby modes.

Until next time.

******SIDE NOTE*******
SO, of course. A couple hours after I blog this who stops by while I'm interning at DMSC.
The barista. Granted, it was for literally 30seconds, but he did stop by to say HI.
And now I'm in a better mood.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Another day another dollar


So blogger apparently hates me. I have actually posted blogs in between now and the last time I posted (granted it has only been a couple, my bad) but for some reason, blogger didn't want to post them.
And instead of posting now old information, I'm just getting over it.Moving on and posting today.

And I don't feel like trying to play catch up with the last month of my life, even though there really hasn't been anything too excting. So I'm just going to go with a new post and talk about "my future".

In less than 2 weeks I will officially be a college graduate, and while 8 months ago that thought scared the crap out of me, I am now 100% ready! I'm excited to move on and grow up and begin life. And while I slightly worry I might regret that a couple months into the grown up life thing, I'm still fine with it.

I have found a job. Right now it's only 15 hours a week. But it's a job none the less and even better, it's exactly what I want to do. so HORRAY!

I'll be the "director of social media and anyalytics" for an on-line based social media consulting firm here in the DSM area. Which means, I'll be creating blogs,twitter accounts, facebook and whatever else for our clients. I'll also teach them how to use it and do it themselves, so we can ultimately turn it over to them to run.

I'm excited, since this company is slightly new and I'm one of the few staffers, I have a chance to grow with the company and when I interviewed my boss told me there's a good chance it will turn into a full time and salaried position. BOO YAA!

So, I'll definitally keep you up to date on how that goes.

With that, I've decided to not return to camp this summer and stick around DSM. A few guys from the house and I are leasing a town home, so it should be fun. I'm just really excited to finally spend a summer in DSM. I never have, so I can't wait for everything. Pride, Arts Festival, 80/35 etc. etc. It should be a gooood time!

But I guess that's about it. I'll do my best to get back into blogging regularly, I promise.

And also, I'm in the midst of switching platforms. Turns out most people in the social media world use wordpress to blog, including my new company. And since it would probably be a good idea for me to join with the times and know how to use what the industry uses, I'm switching to that, and the blog will take a bit of a turn and become more about my life as a YP in DSM. And not so much a "here's what's going on in my life. La de da".

But I promise it'll still be just as entertaining.