It's another time where I sit here and take a break from the busy life of mine in London and attempt to give you a insightful blog full of witty banter,colorful words, and a read that will leave you feeling,.........something. Whether it be fulfillment OR (and lets hope not),wondering why you just wasted 10 minutes reading it.
The other day, an age old question "What am I going to do with my life?" crossed my mind. I know we've all had the thought. However, it wasn't that I was totally lost for thought as to what I'm supposed to do when I "grow up", but more the thought that I had the feeling, again, that I'm "destined for something greater." But, I'm also pretty sure we've had had that thought as well. We've all dreamed of fighting AIDS in Africa, or backpacking through Europe or discovering the cure for cancer or whatever. It's kind of like a quote, Tiff showed me, and I think it can pretty much capture what we've all felt at some point.
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent peopleand the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest criticsand endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, garden patch,
or a redeemed social condition;
To know that even one life has breathed easier because I have lived
This is to have succeeded."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Now before you get all "Psh, Drew, please, get over yourself" hear me out. This thought often comes when I'm doing something or watching something I really enjoy or want to do. Theatre for example. EVERY TIME I see a show,as soon as the curtain comes up, my skin tingles, my heart skips and I get excitied, and I see myself, in 5 years doing exactly that, and its not just one of those "Oh, I'd really like to act when I grow up" sorta, see myself type feelings. But a "I feel it in my gut-all the way to my toes-there's no doubt in my mind- it just seems natural" sort of feelings. Like, DUH what else do you think I'd do.
But then another thought often comes to mind, when? If my feelings correct and someday-somewhere I'm going to be gracing the stages of Broadway or cinema screens across the nation, when is it going to happen and how?
Am I going to have the fairy tale story where I'm walking in the mall one day and a model scout sees me and gives me her card and 2 years later I'm modeling and branching into acting? OR Will I have the rough and tumble story. Where, I graduate college, pack up and move to LA where I live in a cardboard box for years,scraping my pennies together while waiting tables and going to every audition possible, before finally getting my big break?
Of course it also falls into the: "everything happens for a reason" catagory and who really knows what will happen and maybe something will come up and I'll totally switch what I want to do with my life and end up being an accountant for Wells Fargo or something.
OR maybe I need to instead follow the "Life is about creating yourself,not finding yourself" mantra and grab the bull by the horns and make something of myself, myself and throw myself at agents and casting calls and go to them instead of them coming to me.
*SIGH* who knows, pretty much though, I've realized I don't want to grow up and would rather just stay in college or London for the rest of my life. Can I do that instead?
So, this wasn't so much a witty banter about something fun, but more of a Drew hyperventilating over what he's supposed to do with his life, SORRY. Oh-well, hopefully you found it amusing.